Since I was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in 2013, one of the key question I ask myself these days is why did God allow me to be stricken with this disease, and what is my purpose in life now in the midst of this disease? I started thinking back to when I was much younger. I was in high school and was walking to the bus stop with a group of my friends. I was so engrossed in our conversation that I stepped off the curb to cross a busy street without looking to see if there was any vehicles coming my way. I was just about to step off when my friend yelled at me and pulled me back just in time by grabbing onto my pinky. A big public bus just missed me by inches!! Wow, close call.......God must not wanted me that day, phew. I was also an avid sailor when I was a teenager in Singapore. My boyfriend then owned a sail boat and every weekend, we took the big boat out. We especially loved to sail right before a storm brewed because that meant a lot more wind which equated to a lot more fun. So that one day, a storm was brewing and we took the boat out. The wind was so strong that 3 of us had to hike out of our boat to balance it(that is when you put your feet under the straps on the boat, holding a rope and throwing yourself out of the boat backward to balance the boat so it won't capsize). My whole body was literally out of the boat except my feet and the waves were sweeping over my head as we sailed in the wind. Well, the wind decided to change direction and we all did not have enough time to pull our body back into the boat and so, we capsized. I was thrown into the crashing waves and then realized a rope was entangled with one of my feet as I fell backward. I was in utter panic and tried swimming to the surface while trying to free my foot from the rope. To my dismay, I also realized the big sail of the boat was right on top of me and I could not find an open area for me to resurface so that I can breathe. I started to choke on the sea water and remembered vividly praying to God to spare my life. Right after, I felt a tug on my life jacket and felt someone pulling me up. My boyfriend, Paul had realized I was missing and dove under to find me. Thank God, he did. I cheated death again. My life was never dull for me. When I was 20 and living in Japan, I went skiing in the mountains of a popular resort. I was an inexperienced skier but decided to go to the higher stations with my friends. Why you may ask, I really have no good answer for you. Anyway, I was on the ski lift on the way up to the near top when I jumped off the chair to start skiing down the mountain. Lo and behold, I got off too early and started to slide back instead of skiing down. I heard the Japanese lift operator started screaming in Japanese and with my limited Japanese then, I had no idea what he was saying. I looked behind me and realized I was sliding back to the edge of the cliff where there was a huge drop which would have surely kill me if I had gone over. Miraculously, my skis stopped sliding with half of it sticking out over the edge of the cliff. Not a single hair moved and I stopped breathing. The Japanese man stuck out a long metal pole to me as I slowly grabbed it and he pulled me in. He looked at me furious and I was sure he called me some choice names but fortunately for me, I had no clue what he said. That day, I told myself that I was one lucky gal. Then in 1997, I was driving home with my 2 little boys after the movie, Matilda. It was raining that day and up till today, I still remember what my boys and I wore. I was turning left when I saw this big brown Ford Astro van coming at me fast on my left. I gunned my Ford Windstar minivan but with the slippery road, it did not get too far. All I remembered was the loud pop sound, blacked out (like that moment was lost forever and I did not remember anything) and when I came to, I was facing the wrong direction on a busy road by the mall. There was silence and I was deathly afraid to turn around for fear of seeing what may have happened to my boys. Then, the boys (5 and 2) screamed "mommy!" I unbuckled and jumped out of my seat to console them. My van has split opened and the point of impact was directly behind me. If I had not gunned my car to get out of the way, I would not be writing this blog today. When my husband went to the body shop to claim my personal belongings, he could not believe all 3 of us walked away from that accident alive. So, God has not only spared my life once, twice......but FOUR times!!! I thought for sure He has some big important plans for me and He purposely spared me so many times so that I can contribute and fulfill this big important mission. Then, this happens...........I have Parkinson's disease. How can this be? How can God spare my life over and over again so that I am stuck in this world with an useless broken body? What purpose do I have now when I am living with a disease that has so many limitations? What difference can I make in the lives of others now? Where is the BIG plan God has for me?
Having just celebrated Christmas, all I can somehow decipher what my life is all about is by using the Christmas story. Jesus, the son of God and King of kings, was born not to be served but to serve others. Jesus was born not so that He could live a life of luxury and splendor (although He deserved all that): to live like royalty. Instead, His purpose was to come to earth so that He can serve the poor, sick, hopeless, lost.......and ultimately to serve us by dying on the cross for us as the sacrificial lamb. If the purpose of the son of God and King of king was to serve others, why will I expect my life's purpose to be all about me? Should we all expect to be served by others or is our purpose in life all about serving others? If that is so, can I still have a purpose in my life in the midst of an illness? ABSOLUTELY YES!! Before I was sick, I lived like the Energizer Bunny going, going and going but only in my direction. Now, I have empathy for people living with any illnesses and have learned to live life at a much slower pace; learning to appreciate so much more along the way. I do not take things for granted and have learned to be content with little. I have the ability to use my disease to reach out to others who are hurting, in despair, broken, discouraged and some. Having the platform of living with an incurable disease, I was able to use my despair and created a song/video about hope and strength; an instrument to encourage and help others to overcome adversities. If I was not inflicted with PD, the song/video I Will Choose (click here to watch the video but turn off the music box first on top left) and even my blog would not have been a possibility. My purpose in life may not be the same as I once thought it was, but I have a purpose nonetheless: to serve others the best I can. I am using my disease to be a source of hope and encouragement to anyone who needs it. When you discover the purpose in your life, your life will mean so much more to you and others.
It is January 1, 2016 at 1:45 am Chicago time now. I want to wish everyone reading this blog a very Happy New Year. I pray that in 2016, all of you will find a meaningful purpose in your life-in sickness or in health- and to find ways to serve others in love, peace, happiness and hope. Go, find and live a purpose-driven life..........yes, even in the midst of an illness or adversity. God bless you.
**Be sure to check out other pages: Humor Me, Gimme a Break......(cellphone does not allow you to navigate to those pages (not smart enough:) so use computers please)
